SUNDAY, JULY 19, 1992

After an almost sleepless night in a chair by the hospital bed I was exhausted. It had been 24 hours since we rushed O.J. to the hospital after he'd shown signs of a major stroke. The prognosis was not good. The patient in the next bed was restless and loud and staff turned on the lights about 4 times an hour to care for him.

Around noon while O. J. slept I made arrangements to go home to get some rest while other family members were there. The doctor indicated that we were mostly observing, in essence waiting for the other shoe to drop.

By the time I was relieved I was near exhaustion. I was shaking and crying as I drove south on McFarland and on to I-20, afraid O. J. might mimic his sisters with domino effect of many stokes leading to death. The odds of recovery were decreasing. .
My prayers sounded like blubbering. "O LORD, please don't let O. J. die. Please we need him; I need him. Please make him better." Over and over through the Sunday noon traffic. Then very clearly I heard within me, "Dorothy, do you know what you are asking? Are you willing to go with him through whatever happens?"
"LORD, just let him live. I'll take care of him. I'll love him. Please leave him here."
I left the intersate with so many tears I could hardly see the highway. I was meeting cars that had just left churches near by. My breathing was ragged from the fierceness of my crying. On the way home I blamed myself for not caring for him better or for not insisting that he exercise. Then I blamed myself for nagging him to exercise.
I remembered a recent nightmare of his being “gone” and wondered if I had been subconsciously cataloging all the small symptoms and dreaming the worse. I even wondered if my dreaming it had made it happen.

Cars from my own church were meeting me as I reached Romulus. As I went into the silent house still messy from our hurried departure, I felt a frenzy to set things right, but found myself scattering, dropping, and spilling everything I touched.
Finally I gave up, took a bath and Missy brought me something to make me sleep. I took it, crawled into bed , and slept almost 2 hours. After putting a few clothes in an overnight bag, I drove back to the hospital. David reported that Dr. O. had been in and seemed unconcerned. O. J. talked some, but seemed drowsy and unable to focus. Two of his sisters had died with domino effect strokes and doctors weren't giving us much hope.

Late afternoon there was dramatic change. O. J. was awake, recognizing the many visitors who came to check on him and congregated outside the hospital room.

By 8 PM O. J. was quite alert, joking with Martha, Taffy, and her friend, Will. A sudden shift of mood and O. J. announced that he was going home. Attempts to calm him increased his agitation. He seemed delirious. He pointed to a mirror and said he was going through that “door” .He started climbing over the foot of the bed and over the portable table laughing gleefully at our attempts to stop him.

The heart monitor alerted nurses and soon 6 of us were trying to keep him in the bed. He was very strong and wrestling all of us. Finally a restraint band was placed around his waist . Quickly he escaped it. Then wrist restraints were put on and the doctors called. His exhilaration was turning to anger. He struggled and became very fearful. A nurse administered a shot to calm him and told us he would be carried down for another CAT scan at around 10 PM.

Family was baffled. Martha said the process was called "sundowning", but the rest of us were struggling. Was he better? Was this one last splash of lucidity before darkness? Tests, questions, and more tests. The suspense was painful watching the rapid changes of mood and personality. Periods of mania, then fear, then a great weariness seemed to enfold him. Family brought me clothing and food so I could stay with him constantly. I slept in the chair again that night.



July 22

O. J. was moved to a private room on the 2nd floor. He seemed more relaxed and alert. Bro. Channell and Mary came by to visit and found him sitting comfortably in a visitor’s chair, dressed and very coherent. Anyone meeting him for the first time would not recognize any physical or mental problem. The nightmare of the last week had vanished.

[JANUARY 31, 1997, WE HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF A LONG, HARD TIME-A WINDING DOWN OF O. J.’ S LIFE. iT IS WELL THAT WE COULD NOT ANTICIPATE THE DIFFICULTIES OF THE NEXT FOUR AND A HALF YEARS.]


What's for dinner tonight? Find quick and easy dinner ideas for any occasion.